A Blog Before You Go

 The following words I wrote the morning of the day my mother passed away. I awoke after having spent the last couple of days caring for my husband who was hospitalized. Hospitalized because he had blood clots that traveled up his leg and thru his heart landing in both his lungs. Gathering there awaiting. He gets put on Coumadin and I had just brought him home two days before. I sat down that Monday morning April 3rd, 2017 and started to write a blog. Shortly thereafter I receive a call from my dad telling me that mom fell, hit her head, and they are in ER. Mom also was on Coumadin and unfortunately hit her head on the pavement in a spot that they could not control the bleeding. As we stood outside the hospital and watched her take that helicopter ride to Abbott, we all knew it was her wings to heaven. These past weeks since her passing have been very difficult. I have always been able to express my thoughts and feelings into words. But until today, I couldn’t find them. I found the strength and went back to this rough draft I started weeks ago and read the words I wrote that morning. How powerful they spoke! When I didn’t even know what was about to happen, I somehow knew how it would end. All of these weeks, thru my tears I didn’t see,what I already knew that day when I had to say goodbye to my mommy. So I came back here today to finish this blog and after reading it, I realized I had already done so…
“Lets Talk About Faith

As I walk around my home this morning I start to think about all that has happened these past couple of weeks and I start to get nervous. I won’t ask why, for I believe “it is what it is” and I can not dwell on the why’s. But instead I need to take a good look at it all, grasp a hold of myself, and move forward. Do I know everything is going to be “ok”? No, I don’t, and I guess that’s where my nerves and anxiety come into play. “Take a deep breath and pray”, you say? Well, I have my breathing technically down to a science where I feel I can control my bodies desire to lose it in any given situation, such as the ones I have been dealing with lately. But the pray thing? Well, I’m not so sure. I believe to some extent that prayer is powerful. But in that same sense I feel we beg and ask only when we’re desperate. And I just don’t agree with that. So instead I’m going to continue to give daily thanks and know in my heart that the people and things I’ve been given, will be taken good care of.”

YES…I KNOW IN MY HEART, THE PEOPLE AND THINGS I’VE BEEN GIVEN, WILL BE TAKEN GOOD CARE OF…

For the past 81 years you took care of so many mom. You taught us so much and gave with all your heart. Your love lives on in my heart and in the hearts of many. I know you will be taken good care of mom, for what better care then to be the arms of God. 

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