As I sit here today, I think about how much my life has changed this past year. So many things around me and all of them positive.
I took my first step into a whole new world last August. A world where I truly have found myself, my happiness, and, my inner peace with life. Pretty sad that has taken 56 plus years to finally arrive here. But all the same, I’m here, I’m happy, and I wouldn’t be who I am or where I’m at with myself had I not gone thru all the things I have gone thru. I’m not going to be one of those who says that ‘I am not ashamed or sorry for anything I have done or gone thru in my life because it has made me who I am today’. For I would be lying if I did. Yes, I have things from my past that I have done, said, and lived thru that I wish I never had and only because it hurt those that I love so much around me. But that said, I knew a year ago it was time to let go and move forward.
So it all started the day I left my job. Yes, I quit. A job I had for nearly 9 years. A profession I did for 18 1/2 years. I loved it! I loved what I did and I loved the people I helped. But the stress was more than I could bare…physically and emotionally. I didn’t realize until I left and was away from this job, just how negative it and its surroundings were…and I became that! I became angry, insecure, scared, and tired. I finally had to let go. Once I did, I started to feel free and so happy. My life became who I was and not who they wanted me to be.
My mothers health took a turn for the worse. With many doctor visits, surgeries, and scares beyond words, I was able to be there with her thru them all as she journeyed back to health. A mother is someone we tend to take advantage of daily, and this was a huge eye opener to me. I feel so blessed to have been able to just pick up and go when all of this happened. Something I never would have been able to do had I still been working at this job.
Then my middle son, the one who said he’d never marry, got married! To see him find the one true love who changed his mind…no…his heart, made me SO happy! It was my turn to cry at the wedding. I felt such happiness just knowing all three of my children had found someone to love them as much as I do! No, not more…NO ONE could love them more then I 😉
As time went on I found another profession that I felt so drawn to. One that brought me more happiness then any other profession I had ever done. I became a paraprofessional. The love those children have is so beautiful! The hugs, the smiles, the high fives, and yes, even the bad days are wonderful! The most rewarding job I have ever had! Being a para has left me with spare time that I didn’t have before. Holidays, weekends, nights, and especially summers! This summer I have chosen to not take on a part time job for a few reasons. My family is changing, moving, and growing up so fast, that I decided to spend it with them.
One day a week I travel an hour to babysit my granddaughters. We just started this routine and so far we have gone to parks, had coffee with a friend, and did lots of playing. But the joy and the happiness these girls give me every time I arrive with their outstretched arms and their smiles and hugs as they scream out “NANA!” is the most wonderful feeling in this world!
Another reason, and probably most important, is that my oldest son and his family are moving to Seoul, Korea at the end of July. I want to be able to go see them as much as possible before this happens. It will be a bitter sweet day when they leave. Sad to see them go, yet so happy and proud of them!
Throughout this year, I have turned to prayer, meditation, and yoga to help me continue on this journey of inner peace, happiness, and calm.
I want to thank all of my friends and family who have been there for me this past year. Those who have helped me reach this happiness of life and those who have supported me thru my ups and downs. Most important, you my dear husband. God knew what he was doing the day I opened the kitchen door to Hardee’s to let in our new assistant manager. He secretly was saying to me,
“Lisa, happiness has arrived”. And again, I feel it today!