A Condition of the Heart

Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined my new job as a paraprofessional could cause a condition with my heart…until today.
I have been doing this job for 4 months now and I love every minute of it. The children are so loving, so happy, so full of life. They make me smile, shake my head sometimes, and even wonder. But they always make me happy. These children are our futures. And this future they are headed for is not going to be an easy one. It’s a much more complicated world now and there is so much more expected from them compared to when I was a child…even compared to when my own children were young. So to be a part of helping them get there and prepared for it all, is only a gift for me. Truly a gift indeed.
The hard part though is that they crawl into my heart and steal a part of it each day. Why is this hard? Well, tomorrow is my last day at this school for I will be moving on to a different school closer to home. The decision was hard but with the travel and getting more pay, I had to do it.
Because I have grown to love these children so, tomorrow is going to be a very hard day for me. I have tears in my eyes as I write this just thinking about it. Each one of those children holds a special place in my heart, along with many of the teachers and paras. But today something happened that will make it even harder tomorrow and for the days that follow. One of the young children that I work with, and have really established a bond with, was showing signs of health issues today. I won’t go into detail because of privacy reasons. But as I watched him and the issue progress as the day went on, I teared up. I will not see him daily to find out how he is or what his progress is. I don’t know how I can deal with that. I love this little guy so much! I hope and pray the staff will keep me informed as the days go on.
As we walked out the door today at the end of the school day, this little one looked up at me and said with a sad face, “I’m really gonna miss you”. I hugged him big and said I would miss him too….and my heart crumbled to pieces.
I truly made the right decision when I left my career of 18 years and started this job as a paraprofessional. Though it causes conditions of my heart, I wouldn’t have it any other way!


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